Love is the answer.

Luke 6:37
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."

Through many conversations I have discussed the concept of judging and people are quick to say they don't judge people. However, you spend enough time with someone and you will discover the type of people that they judge. I have the previous verse tattooed on my arm to be a constant reminder to me that I should be quick to forgive and that I shouldn't judge/condemn others.

In spending time with people, and listening to them, I found many things that people judge others on. Here is a list that I've compiled of the most-common:

• How someone talks (less educated speech, southern drawl, grammatical errors, etc.)
• How someone dresses (clothes are torn, clothes are stained/dirty, clothes are mismatched, colors are bright, clothes are old/out of date)
• Sexual Orientation (whether he/she is gay, whether he/she is straight, whether he/she is bi)
• Someone who is transsexual (this is very evident, currently, especially with Caitlyn Jenner)
• Someone's ethnicity/race (white people judging black people, black people judging white people)
• Religion (there has been a very large number of people judging the Christian religion lately, as a whole. I've seen, and heard, this first-hand as well as through others. Christianity is under fire right now. Judaism is also under fire from all sides.)
• Someone's weight (people make fun of fat people, or thing negative things when they see someone who is obese. Some people even make fun of people who are thin. I've also heard people make fun of people who weight-life. Saying women shouldn't look like that, or men shouldn't be that big.)
• Someone who is rich/poor (this one goes both ways...and can lead into coveting in one direction. We don't know circumstances, yet judgment still happens)
• Women who strip for money (wasn't it Jesus that spent time with prostitutes and the outcasts?)

 This list could easily go on and on. I'm not saying that we should become afraid or paranoid. We need to become aware that we are human and can make intentional efforts to change the way we view people. We need to see them the way God sees them. See them how Christ would see them.

Does this mean we need to accept what the Bible says is wrong? No. Did Jesus say it was okay to be a prostitute? Did He say to continue living in your sin? No. He loved them. And he would tell them to .."go and sin no more." He would show love and kindness to those looked down upon in society.

One thing to remember. The one that you judge is a human. He/she is created in God's Image. He/she has feelings. He/she can feel pain, humiliation, sadness, sorrow, hate, joy, happiness, love. If you open your heart to understand where you may be passing judgment, make a change. When you feel yourself starting to judge someone, pray for them. If you can see that they are struggling with something, offer assistance. What better way to break a habit of judgment than to show the love of Jesus Christ?

What about Prayer?

As I look at the news and read many articles, I find myself often in an odd state. I'm saddened by the direction of this once-great country. I can trace ancestry arriving to the colonies in the 1600s. I know many can go back further. My family has been here a while.

The country is quickly going down the tubes, and what is being done about it? Nothing. Anyone who tries to prevent it seems to get shut down. Planned Parenthood is selling baby parts, and the attempt to defund them has been blocked? Seriously? And those who ally with them are saying that all this is is political attacks. Um...what? Seriously?

So, then, what can we do? Well, we can get out there and vocally be against the direction of the country. We can write letters and emails to try and show powers that be that we have a voice. Or we can do something far more powerful--pray.

Why is it that the "Christian" seems to usually go to prayer as a last resort? And why is it when you ask someone who confesses to be a Christian to pray about something, they act put out? One reason this country is going downhill fast is because it is full of "Christians" who just "want to feel good" about themselves. Those who don't want to offend, but want to get along with everyone.

I would say I "hate" to break it to you, but...I don't hate it. The Bible is offensive. To those living in the dark, the Bible is offensive. Even to those trying to walk in the Light, it's still offensive. We are called to live a different life. We are called to a life that will bring attention to us. Jesus offended everywhere He went. He was so offensive, they killed Him for it. But...as we know...He didn't stay dead. Which is Life for us!
James 5:20
"remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins."

Back to prayer. Prayer should ALWAYS be our first course of action!!

James 5:16
"therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

John 14:12-14
"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." 

We've heard this many times in Bible Studies, church sermons, etc. We get to ask Him anything and He will do it! But, there is a catch. He said it to His disciples in the same chapter:

John 14:23-24
Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me." 

If you do not follow His teaching, how do you expect Him to "give you whatever you want"? How can you know what His teaching is if you don't read His Word?

"Christians"! Wake up! The world is going to hell and we are doing nothing. Our eyes are drooping from being online and on our phones all day. We are too busy to do anything, or so we say. How are you too busy for prayer? Do you drive to work? Pray in the car. Do you walk to work? Pray as you're walking. Do you take public transportation? Pray in the subway/bus/taxi. There is ALWAYS time for prayer. 

There is nothing that you could be working on that is more important than talking to the Creator of the Universe. Nothing. (while on that, go to icr.org if you don't believe the SCIENCE of God creating the Universe)

I'm covering a multitude of areas. I'm sorry if I'm a bit scatter-brained. Please pray for this country. Pray for a revival. Pray for God's hand in our country. Pray for God to reveal Himself to us. Pray for God to take control of the country. Pray like you've never prayed about anything. We are going down fast. But there is nowhere that is too far for God to reach. darkness is having a blast. I think it's time to shut them up and remind them Who is in charge. And remind them of their eternal destination.

If you love God, you will follow His commands. You are empowered by the Holy Spirit if you have given your life to Christ. There is no force on, above, or below this earth that could ever be more powerful. If I die doing the work of the Lord, it's not a loss. God is amazing. Find Him. Pray with Him. Pray for His anointing. Pray for His power to be revealed to this country. Pray for revival. 

2 Corinthians 13:14
May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. 

Heart Broken

It's so easy to focus on all the molehills around us and consider them mountains. To see the trials and troubles that we face and consider them to be more than they are. To us, they may be huge, until we look into what is going on around us on a larger scale.

Recently, not too far from where we live, a boy was reported missing. There was a massive search for this toddler. Apparently,  he had been known to wander on his own. The step-mother even claimed to have stuff stolen from her house to make it seem that someone broke in and took him.

His body was found in the laundry room. In a trash bag. Under clothing. His body showed bruising and even damage to his liver and kidney. Reading through the report on all that happened to this little boy, it breaks my heart. It broke my heart. There had been previous accounts of child neglect and abuse in this case. They were filed and documented, but nothing happened. This little boy was abused and nothing happened. That nothing led to his death. He was killed because no one did anything, even when the abuse was reported and documented as abuse. A little boy. Younger than my own two boys.

There is evil in this world and it is evident. This isn't the only little boy that is being beaten by people who are supposed to protect him. There are little girls and boys being beaten by people who are supposed to protect them. There are little girls and boys having people do horrid things.

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by what's going on in the world. It's like, I wish I could save all the innocence from what is happening.

Father, I pray for those who are struggling. I pray for the children. I pray you will go to them and give them comfort and peace. I pray for those who are already with you. I pray that they are comforted and loved. I know they are. I thank you for this earth. I thank you for my time on it. Please use me to help others. I pray your will is done.

What's wrong with society

As I look at the news and see how the US is turning against Christians, it brings up many thoughts. First off, the book The Illuminati by Larry Burkett is closer than we think. It shows what could easily happen to the US if we continue down this path for even a few more years.

Secondly, my main point, the US is producing a society of cream puffs.

We have kids failing in school, so what do we do? Give them tutoring? No. Give them extra hours at school to work on it? No. FAIL them? No. What do we do? Slowly, oh so slowly, dumb down the system. Give them tests that they have to study for. Essentially prepare them for standardized tests so the school can get funding. Really? How is this education?

Other evidence? How about not offending ANYONE by ANYTHING. If anything you do or say can be construed as offensive in any way, then it cannot be said or done or worn or anything. I have been told, in high school, that I couldn't wear a hoodie again (it was from my brother's military training, the unit he was in. It was called "Death Dealers."), because people in the school might be offended. If I wore that to high school today, I'd probably be thrown out. I was wearing it to support my brother, but it might be offensive.

That being said, Christians are under persecution for the same thing. Our beliefs are viewed as offensive, so we are starting to get shut out and told to shut up. We don't even have to say anything to be offending those weak cream puffs. People are written hate letters for putting up Christmas lights. People are having their Christmas lights torn off their houses because they are celebrating Christmas. Someone refuses to back down from what the BIBLE says and he's thrown off his TV show? AND YET we are told we cannot judge another religion for their extremists who use their religion as an excuse to murder?! We can't go on living our peaceful lives, but we have to show respect for people who destroy other lives because they are "extremists"?!

CHRISTIANS, WAKE UP!! When did Christ ever say that we are to never offend anyone because of Him? When did He say that we were to not discuss a Christian life because we don't want to offend anyone? Have any of you read anywhere in the Bible where Christ stopped speaking, or apologized, for possibly being offensive? If you find that, please let me know. I will recant what I am saying. Christ said we would be persecuted because of Him. And, by the way things are going in this country, that's coming quickly. We have slowly accepted it and allowed it and it's going to overtake us. We have allowed the evil one to tell us that because we are not perfect, we cannot speak out. We have allowed him to creep in and tell us we have to tolerate, so we must not offend. Even many churches have watered down THE MESSAGE as to not offend.

Christ was offensive. He offended all the religious leaders of the day. He didn't just sit back and decide to not say something because someone might be offended by it. If you refuse to be offensive, then maybe you should rethink the life you claim to live. Will Christ see you and say, "I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!"?  (Matthew 7:23)

Our God is a God of love. The reason it's okay to be offensive is because it might bring people Home to God. By being submissive to the powers of the world and refusing to offend we are allowing souls to go to hell. WE are the responsible parties. And, if we just allow this to happen, how are we any better than those who claim this way of life to be wrong?

Luke 13:23-28
Someone asked him, “Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?”

He said to them, “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. Once the owner of the house gets up and closes the door, you will stand outside knocking and pleading, ‘Sir, open the door for us.’

“But he will answer, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from.’

 “Then you will say, ‘We ate and drank with you, and you taught in our streets.’

 “But he will reply, ‘I don’t know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evildoers!’

 “There will be weeping there, and gnashing of teeth, when you see Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and all the prophets in the kingdom of God, but you yourselves thrown out.

By not being offensive, we are essentially telling God that we don't care. We are telling Christ that His Sacrifice was only good enough for us, but not for anyone it might offend. People, this is a discussion about ETERNAL souls! I don't care if they don't believe their souls will continue, because it will. When I hear someone say that they are an atheist, it saddens me. Not believing in God doesn't make Him go away. Their souls will continue, as will yours. Will you be offensive and live your life boldly, and outwardly for Christ? Or will you shy away and show Christ that His suffering and death are meaningless to you? We will all die. We will all be judged by The Judge. Will we be ashamed because we didn't act? Or will we show that we cared enough? The choice is yours.

It's Been A While

I know that I, Josiah, have a tendency to be offensive, and this will be no different.

I recently read an article about someone who was going to boycott Halloween because of the candy. She had family members who developed type 2 diabetes in their lives and didn’t want her children to be ingesting large amounts of candy due to the holiday. I have a few problems with that theory, and they will be mentioned within this paper.

Boycotting a holiday because of you not wanting your children to ingest a large quantity of candy is ridiculous. Growing up, we would often do something Halloween related and we wouldn’t have the candy daily. The parent is in control in regards to his/her children, so the amount of candy a child ingests is completely up to you, not the child. You can do one piece a day, or every other day, or once a week.

Boycotting due to unhealthy eating should require you to also boycott: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, any holiday/event that includes ingesting a large amount of food or any candy/cake.

While we are on the unhealthy eating topic, one should also boycott: Fast food (McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s, etc.), Carbonated beverages (Regular - lots of sugar/high fructose corn syrup; Diet usually has aspartame/Sucralose), Red meat (often has a high amount of fat, and is okay in moderate use…as in once a week or less), Fish (often contains mercury), Any meat that has steroids, dairy (studies have shown calcium deficiencies are actually due to larger consumptions of milk), alcohol (except, perhaps, ONE SMALL glass of red wine a day), processed foods, most frozen foods, anything with preservatives in it, ibuprofen, acetaminophen, OTC drugs as well as prescription drugs,  etc.

To spin off that, let’s continue with other products that should be avoided: Shampoo/Conditioner (as long as they say for external use only they aren’t good for you. Because, no matter what, some of it will be absorbed through your skin), Lotions, hair driers, gels, soap (though benefits outweigh risks on that one), sanitizer, facial cleansers/lotions, shave cream/aftershave, etc.

One thing that needs to also be taken into consideration when talking about type 2 diabetes is lack of exercise. Diet and exercise are effective methods of preventing type 2 diabetes. That being said, one should also boycott: escalators, moving sidewalks, elevators, watching TV without walking on treadmill or stationary bike, driving when the distance is close enough to walk or ride a bike…etc.

This list could easily go on, but it would take me all day to write and would be too boring to read (may be too late for that one). It just irritates me that someone would blame all of their family’s type 2 diabetes on sugar and deprive the possibility of one holiday due to it. My children love halloween, and we monitor how much candy they are allowed to eat. 

There are many factors involved in type 2 diabetes. The two main ones I found? Diet AND exercise. Which means, you need to eat healthy AND make sure you get exercise. Walking to the fridge for a refill doesn’t count. One needs to get their heart rate up for at least 30 minutes daily. If you can’t leave your house, there are plenty of things to do at home to workout. The dreaded jumping jacks, pushups, sit ups/crunches, apps that give you a workout to do, etc.

This may seem that I’m ranting over something that doesn’t matter, but it does. Why in America are we so afraid to offend anyone that we blame anything negative on something that is out of our control? 

I’m fat! 

-Society: It’s not your fault. It’s in your genes; It’s not your fault, it’s McDonald’s for making their food so good that you supersize everything.

My child is fat!

-Society: It’s not the parents’ fault for feeding your children unhealthy food or having them sit in front of the TV all day, it’s sugar. It’s McDonald’s…

I have a beer gut!

-Society: It’s not your fault. It’s in your genes (Yes, researchers found a “fat ab gene” that they blame for the beer gut)

I don’t have rippling muscles - I don’t work out enough (my action). I don’t have a six pack - I don’t exercise my abs daily, just every other day (my action). My triglycerides were high - I didn’t eat enough fresh fruit and veggies (my fault). I don’t do enough cardio (my fault)…

How about people start taking responsibilities for their actions? Why don’t people accept the blame for their choices? Is that really too much to ask? 

Had to Vent Regarding "Intelligence"

Throughout my life thus far, I have traveled all over the US and the world. One thing that I have discovered is that there tend to be three main types of people (as always, there are variations and those who don't fall in these categories). There are those who are intelligent; those who think they are intelligent; and those who know they are not intelligent.

Within those three categories, I get along best with the first and third. A few years ago, I worked with a woman who would be considered by the world to be unintelligent. She knew she didn't have what the world considers to be intelligence and was okay with it. When she came across phrases or words that she wasn't sure what they meant, she would ask. The words and phrases were usually ministry based (I was going to seminary), so I usually knew the answers.

The second category tends to drive me crazy. When I am in a setting where I hear, constantly, about how someone "has brains," yet constantly misuses simple grammar, it tends to bring question about said "brains." I am not saying that I'm the smartest person in the world, not even close, but I don't go around announcing how brilliant I am because I have a degree and half of a masters (which I will finish when I get back from training). :) Even though I may be proud of the fact that I have worked toward my education, it's not something I'm going to use as a claim for my intelligence (or "brains").

I tend to wonder if people in this category are the ones that I see broadcasting their ignorance. When you use hard curse words to add "color" to your sentences, it proves the point that you aren't that bright. The English language has so many options of words that those filler words broadcast that you aren't a bright individual. Don't get me wrong, I understand when someone is angry those words may come out and be used in that setting. It happens. But when those words are used once a sentence (or more), it's showing how unintelligent you really are.

What's even more tragic, is people are using social media to broadcast their lack of intelligence. I can't even go through the news feed on Facebook without running across someone using extreme profanity, as well as horrific spelling errors.

Are we, as a nation, dumbing down our society? What use is it to make everyone feel good about themselves? In the real world, outside the US, someone wins and someone loses. There's no trophy for losing. There are no pats on the back for trying. I get so frustrated that we decide that people need to get trophies for merely participating in an event. Really? When I was a kid, you got a trophy if you were within the top three positions--First, Second or Third.

As I move forward with my life, if I am given a trophy, or award, for merely participating and not being in the top three, I will immediately give it back, or burn it or throw it away.

The Life.

I want to live to die. Not too long ago, I had a revelation in regards to life. No matter what we do, how many facelifts, botox, makeup, age-defying stuff, working out, eating right, etc., we're gonna die. Death is inevitable. What am I doing with my time on earth? If I measure my actions to eternity and what it will mean then, what really matters?

It's so easy to get caught up in the daily routines. Work, family, children, school, sports, music, acting, etc. The moment when I am confronted to sin, tempted, my action then is what matters. God gives me the power to walk away, so what do I do when I'm tempted? If I take the moment to think of eternal consequence (good or bad), I think that it would be easier to walk away. Considering that we aren't tempted with things that are of no interest to us, it's never truly easy to just walk away. Sometimes it's easy to just entertain the idea for a moment, but you need to run.

The moments in life when it's been the hardest for me is when I decide that I won't act on the temptation, I'll just think about the "what ifs" and then I won't be sinning. How long can one play with fire before getting burned. But if you grab water and douse that flame and walk away you won't get burned. The power of Christ can put out any flame the adversary brings to you.

There was a time in my life when my wife and I were having a rough time in our marriage. When I was at work, I would constantly be bombarded with things that we said in arguments and bringing up arguments that had never happened. I would often entertain these thoughts and when I saw her, I would be angry from all these events (I'd say that at least half of them were from arguments that never occurred, other than in my mind). This would cause more friction and we'd be worse off than we were before.

There came a point when I was sick of this and needed to get away from it. I would say out loud, if I was working by myself, "Lord Jesus take captive my thoughts," whenever these thoughts would bombard me. After having to do this nearly incessantly for a few days, they weakened. I didn't crumble to those thoughts like I had before. The power of Christ's name can bring the enemy to his knees.

The adversary would then bring up more temptations and whatnot, but if I continued to pray to Christ for help and pray daily, He would give the power to overcome. In His Name is power. God spoke the Universe into existence. There really is more power in the Word and in verbal language than we tend to give credit for.

Advise my dad would often give me is this: If you are doing the right thing, you will be under attack. If you aren't a challenge to the adversary, why would he waste time attacking you. Not saying that the luke-warm have perfect lives, they are merely easy targets. The real strength will be used attacking the righteous. If Christ is in our lives, we have more strength than we tend to believe. We can change the world if we truly wanted to.

I know my calling and I'm moving toward it. I'm not going to allow myself to be turned to the left or right away from what God wants me to do.

Lord Jesus, I pray that You will give me the strength to not stray from Your direction in my life. Please fill me with Your Presence and guide my thoughts and words throughout today. Thank You for Your sacrifice. Please help me to live for eternity. I pray for Your continued direction and guidance. I love You, Lord.

Being "Cool"

Ever notice how often people attempt throughout their lives to be "cool." In grade school it's...um...bringing your own lunch, or having certain friends...or perhaps wearing the best clothing. It's been a long time since I've been that young, so it's hard to remember.

In middle school, we start heading towards dating and self-discovery. So, we want to look good and we want to be popular. This really brings one into high school...in high school, these continue. To be cool, you have to have the perfect body, have money, have friends, go to the best parties, being in the right circle of friends.

In college, it's more about friends and dressing right, really. I mean, the need for the perfect body may continue or begin. This one also brings the control aspect. You control your life. For some people, the perfect grades and whatnot. If one didn't party in high school, there is a great chance they'd party in college. Some people even smoke to be cool. You go clubbing, dancing, whatever you can to be "cool."

In my life, my effort was often trying to be perfectly dressed with the perfect body and the perfect friends. Moving as much as we did, I had to look for the right people to be my friends. I would, in high school, often date my way into the right circles. In college, it was still about keeping myself in shape and being "different." This really looked like whatever I wanted it to at different times. I was at the right parties and the right events. Making appearances as often as possible, or necessary.

I continued to do my best to look great and dress right for my girlfriend and wife. Then the coolness I had continued until June 30th, 2009. Although my lack of coolness may not be declared for quite a few years, it came to my realization that I can no longer be cool once I'm a parent. My journey of coolness has ended. I now dress my kids first, worrying about my own clothing little or none. I wear stuff now that I wouldn't be caught dead in my younger years...and it doesn't bother me. It just hits me every so often that I'm not "cool" anymore. I don't strive for it, I don't try to be. I now will dress like a parent, not like a single or married man.

This isn't griping about being a parent, I love it. It's just the realization that with aging comes changes and this happens to be one of them. I'm not cool anymore, but I'm okay with that. :) I'm fine with my lack of coolness. It's just weird to think about. :)

Display of True Power

During Sunday School today, we discussed forgiveness. The Roman soldier who said, "Surely this is the Son of God," came into our discussion. One thing hit me when we were talking about it. Back in those days, Romans went to great lengths within the temples to mimic powers. They would use boulders and such to create earthquakes and thunder, they would use different smoke methods to make it appear the god was angry...all sorts of techniques were used to create the illusion of power. More than likely, the Roman soldier knew about these methods and knew that the "powers" of these gods were within their temples. He witnessed the earthquakes and powerful storms that came upon Christ's death and he knew these were not mimicked acts of nature. These earthquakes and storms were the real thing. They were not limited to the confines of a temple, they were out in the open with the world as a witness to them.

It's kind of cool to think about. It never crossed my mind that God, once again, decided to show His supreme power over those of the time (reminds me of Pharaoh and the plagues). :)

Coffee Ain't Strong Enough...

Sometimes it seems that the older I get, the more I need sleep (and coincidentally, the less I get). Along with that, caffeine (my name is Josiah and I'm addicted to caffeine) just doesn't seem to work like it did in the past. I can have coffee first thing in the morning, then an energy drink and be dragging after lunch (barely make it through class). What is this nonsense? I remember when I was working on my first bachelor's degree, I would have 2+ energy drinks a day, not to mention caffeine at meals, too.

I have to say that being a parent is a wonderful endeavor. The issue in dealing with parenting and this topic is that children are draining!! No matter how many times I toss my son in the air, or let him tackle me or chase him around, he doesn't get tired. My energy is pretty much gone after about ten minutes and all that's happened to him is that he's fired up for ten more!!! I know that I'm aging, but I'm not that old, darnit! I'm only 27! Having kids is tough! Not just all the new experiences, but the fact that they seem to have an endless supply of energy...where does it come from?! I wanna know so I can tap into some for myself!

Regardless of the falling affect of coffee on me, I will not give it up anytime soon. It's just too darn good for that! Maybe I'll get sick soon, so I can't have anything but water to drink and then when I return to coffee, it'll wire me for hours, who knows? And...speaking of getting wired, that five hour energy stuff doesn't work for me. I figured I'd try it out...yeah, didn't do a thing. I had to drink an energy drink just to last through the morning because it was as if I hadn't had anything.

So...here I am, an old man...with one child with an unrelenting amount of energy...and soon both of them will have this energy. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I'll be even older then, and, well, maybe they'll create a way to have caffeine shot directly into the bloodstream or something by then so I'll be able to manage...or find something that works even better, who knows? :) Gotta go, the young one is hungry...

Parenting

I must say, the flaws of the human never seem to reach fruition within ones self until one is a parent. I won't deny that I have had many problems and have done my share of sins and stupid stuff (would've said "things" but I have no intention of rhyming on here). :) But, how it affects someone is different. Here I have two beautiful sons and I fear every error I make. I may not make the same choices in a lot of areas that my parents did (for my own reasons); I make plenty of choices of my own that make me upset.

It's hard to describe, but it seems that I always viewed my parents as super-human. I know that they made mistakes, but they were always more than human, for some odd reason. It's like they were on a pedestal. This is something that I still struggle with today, but I'm much better. It's not like they did everything right and we never had problems, it was just that they...I don't know how to explain it.

Anyway, as a parent myself, I don't view myself like that, at all. I see all the mistakes I'm making and it tears me apart sometimes. Recently, while trying to grab one kid who wouldn't listen to me, I bumped the youngest one's head (of whom I was holding). It startled him and he started to cry. That was a tough night. I dragged the one who was in trouble out of the room and rocked the other one back to sleep. Then, when my wife was back in the living room, I had to leave. I was so upset with myself for the whole situation. I had never been careless enough to bump the head of either of the children on anything. And the other one got in trouble and he may or may not have realized that he was doing wrong...though he probably did.

It's so much easier to beat yourself up for mistakes when you are a parent and these mistakes are made to/around your children. I know mine are probably too young to remember this when they get older, but that doesn't lift the burden. Sometimes, I wish that there was a way to do everything right, but I know there isn't. I now understand what my mom and dad say when they talk about their mistakes. But what every parent should know is that most children don't remember those...I remember the good times with my family and some of the difficult, but not in the way they do. I know that when we have struggles and arguments, it'll be harder on me than the boys. It's hard now...

My only hope from all this is that when I look back when the boys are all grown up and moved out, I will be able to see all the positives and less negatives... :)

"Terrible Twos"

Just out of curiosity, why are the twos so "terrible"? I mean, I fully understand that having my son throwing himself on the floor and screaming for no apparent reason is rather frustrating, but I often see a similar attitude in people of all ages.

How often is it that if you go out somewhere to eat, you hear someone griping and complaining about someone or something? How often do people you know complain? There are those who seem to never fully exit the stage of "terrible two". Some people seem to find everything negative and are so often throwing vocal tantrums that it's just too much.

Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with venting. And sometimes we all need to vent to release steam. Some more than others. The thing I'm talking about are people who need to gripe and complain about practically everything that doesn't go their way. They want certain things and do not get them. I remember someone who wanted a certain Wii game (he was in college) and his sister didn't quite have the money for it (she already had other gifts for him) and he whined about it because he really wanted that game (went on about it for a good five minutes). Here we have a twenty year old whining because his sister couldn't afford a Wii game?

I, too often, see vocal tantrums thrown about useless and pointless things. So, I think the only thing terrible about these "terrible twos" is the fact that we have no idea what is upsetting him. Since he is unable to talk, he shows his distain the only way he knows how. So, I don't really consider it all that terrible, just frustrating. I look forward to him talking and understanding more so that we can avoid all these tantrums and stop them when they start.

Resolutions...

I have one word to describe New Year's Resolutions - Foolishness. Okay, done. Bye! As if I would ever have an entry this short; I enjoy my soap box.

The part of the year I hate the most is January, you know why? The gym is ALWAYS full in January and usually until February. By the end of March, things have usually settled back down to normal. So many failed resolutions every year that I see unfold. It seems that people start with so much steam and then allow things to slowly get in the way and then suddenly no longer have time for something they don't enjoy doing.

I will admit that I tend to not fulfill my resolutions because I really don't put any heart behind them. I'm just like, "Oh, yeah...it's new years and everyone else is doing one..." I'll usually have a date (by summer) that I have to complete a number of things. I can only remember once that I really fulfilled one...lasted over four years!!! That was no more caffeine. I started in 2002 and lasted until the middle of 2006.

I don't really think I'll make any this year, I don't really see any point. Why do I need a new year to make changes? Do people decide to wait until the first of January to make needed changes? That's foolishness, if you ask me! Start now! If there are issues in your life to resolve, start immediately! No reason to wait for a new year!

My son is crying, so I really don't have time or concentration...I'll prolly write more tomorrow, but I don't resolve to...

Christmas With Children

It's amazing the stages we go through when it comes to Christmas. As children, we hold the spirit of Christmas dear to us and often wonder what it is under the tree that is for us. Even in the many years when we really didn't have much growing up, Mom and Dad still made Christmas amazing. It was all about the time together, and I loved it.

Nowadays, with children as young as ours, Christmas has a different tune to it. Our children are too young to really understand what Christmas is about. Our son, Jeshua, was more interested in the gift that daddy forgot to wrap and didn't feel like dealing with on Christmas Eve. He got overwhelmed, really. I mean the poor kid had at least twenty gifts under the tree...and he's only 18 months old! Our other boy didn't have much...but one can't find many gifts for a three week old. :)

For me, though, it's not about the getting as much as the giving. I love to give gifts. I often don't do well with budgets for Christmas...I go over them. I remember that my dad would do that growing up and Mom would often feel that she didn't get enough for him. I now understand why dad did it. Because his wife deserved as much as he could spend. I had a budget for the stocking stuffers and I wanted to pamper my wife, so I went over twice our budget on that...Beth said that she felt that she didn't get enough for me because of what I got her, but it's not about that for me. I LOVE what she got for me. I loved spending the day playing games with her (when the kids were napping and in bed).

Christmas just ain't the same down here in Oklahoma. I want snow. It snowed some while I was down here...for one day and it was rained turned to snow...and nothing stayed, not even on the cars. :'(

But, with all that said, I will never forget the true Reason for the season. Christ's arrival on earth. God came to earth so that He could die for our sins. Jesus paid the ultimate price for my sins and Christmas is all about His arrival.

My dad would read the story of Christ's birth from the Bible each year before we opened gifts. I will do that, as well, with our kids. Let them know why we celebrate.

With all that said, having children changes the focus of Christmas. We spent the majority of our money on them (3/4) and only spent 1/4 of the total money on each other. :) Ever since I became a Daddy, I stopped really caring about my wants or needs, and focused solely on those of my son, and now sons. :) I've really babbled my way through this one. :) My mind is just all over the place today...sheesh! :)

AUtomated phone calls...

Okay...so who was it that had the bright idea to have an automated service when you are trying to call a bank to talk to someone? I mean, sure it's great and all, but when it prevents you from talking to someone, it's a bit frustrating.

We got an automated call telling us to call our bank regarding something we got in the mail. I looked through our mail and there is nothing that states that we need to call them about anything. So, I called the bank. Automated service. It informs me that I need to select a topic before I can talk to a representative. I don't know what topic I'm supposed to discuss, but I have to have one. I try to bypass this by pressing "0" (the representative button) and am once again informed that I need to select a topic.

I went to select one and got all the way to "Other" when I had to select a banking topic that the "Other" stood for...in which case it went through all the options I had bypassed to get to "Other"! I JUST WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE!!! Why can't I just speak with someone without having the topic selected...especially since I have no clue what the topic is about! What happened to the days when you make a phone call to talk to a representative and you were able to talk to one?!?!?! They called me and informed me that I must call about something in the mail (computer informed this) and when I call (having no clue what I'm calling about), I get the run-around by a computer.

I'm not some old person who is not computer savvy. I grew up around computers, but this is ridiculous! I, then, decided to go to the "Contact Us" selection on my online account and I had to have a topic there, too!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY TOPIC IS SUPPOSED TO BE BECAUSE YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHAT IT WAS!!!! I'm starting to see why many people are so frustrated with automated systems...when you want to talk with someone, it can be difficult!

Grrr....

Shaped Candy

One thing that popped into my head last night, as I ate some gummy worms, was who is it that decided that gummy candy should have certain shapes? Is it because we have teddy bears growing up that we don't mind taking a bite out of a gummy bear? One of the fiercest animals in nature we find comfort in eating? How about gummy worms? Sour gummy worms are one of my favorite candies...but why worms? What is it about a worm that if you throw some sugar and coloring together that it is suddenly appealing? Even while I was picking out my gummy worms, I was deciding between the worms and gummy insects. Really? Shouldn't I have been appalled? I was about to eat some "insects" or "worms" and I was debating between the two.

Let's go toward Easter. They sell giant Easter bunnies. What is it about eating a bunny? It's okay if it's made of chocolate. What if a little kid decides to eat "Fluffy." Guess what, kids. That's meat. It's not some chocolaty snack. (I would say "treat" but I don't want to rhyme)

Then we have chocolate eggs with cream inside made to look like an eggs interior. Imagine the horror on a child's face if they try to eat a real egg because of how good the chocolate one tasted. I would find it rather amusing, honestly.

How about "Peeps". They make them for every holiday now, not just Easter. So, you're eating little chicks, bunnies, snowmen, Santas, ghosts, jack-o-lanterns...you name it. And, it's okay. It's candy. We can eat candy that looks like stuff. Why is that?

There is still plenty of candy that doesn't have a shape of something to eat...so why is it that we have shaped candy? What is it about eating a shape of some creature that we find so appealing? Why is it we aren't appalled by it? If a child eats a real worm, he/she is in for a big surprise. They ain't tasty. Slimy, not gummy. I'm not a fan, myself.

But...we have them. Gummy bears, worms, insects, fruits...you name it. Quite odd, but okay. I just wonder who the first person was who decided that we should eat bears. And who it was that thought worms would be tasty. And...it's such a part of culture that we aren't even phased by the concept. What's next? :)

Caffeine...friend or foe?

So, I’m a major energy drink buff, but does that mean that caffeine is really helping? It seems to be an issue that scientists and studies vary upon. Some say that it needs to be used in moderation. But...what exactly is “moderation”? Some people are super-sensitive to caffeine, while other are not. So, moderation is different to each individual.

I have often seen myself cutting off caffeine completely (the headaches are horrible) and then going without for a while...before I get sucked back in. The longest I have been without caffeinated drinks was 4.5 years. I gave up drinking caffeine on January 1st of 2002 and didn’t drink caffeine again until May of 2006. (it seems like less than four, but you count the whole year of 2002. :) ) <- I had to redo the math because it didn’t seem right. :)

But, I am, once again, hooked on caffeine. Research has shown that caffeine is an actual better jump start to one’s day, however it can also make one get less sleep at night. If you only drink caffeine to start you in the morning, then the effects seem to be the best...but I tend to need jump-starts throughout the day. Although it doesn’t seem quite as effective. It could be because my alleged need for it at that time is from boredom, not being tired...easily confused if you ask me.

Those years of being without caffeine...I relied mostly on sugar to boost me from day to day. Luckily, I worked out so much that I didn’t get all pudgy. I worked out around 5-6 days a week...including cardio. I did alright in those days. The issue that I face with trying that again is this - so few beverages these days have sugar, rather than high fructose corn syrup (also supposedly is okay in moderation...). And I don’t drink that crap. Moderation for that is VERY little. But...that topic is for another day. :)

So...caffeine...friend or foe. I suppose it is both. It can either be an awesome helper that gets you going in the morning, or it can be an enemy that won’t allow you to sleep and drinks away all your cash-flow...the final decision is yours. :) GB!

Failure.

Failure. Just what is it? Who exactly is the one who decides what is a failure or not? I think that too often we allow society to decide what the norms are and if we do not fit that mold, then we "fail."

There were many years that I viewed myself as being too effeminate because I was trying to fit in the mold of what a "man" was. I viewed men as being buff and with deep voices and so many other things that I was not, so therefore, I was a failure as a man. It took years for me to realize that I'm not a failure as a man because I am who God created me to be. I am a man. My features are different than every other man. We all have similarities and differences and I don't have to think of myself as a failure because I do not fit into the mold of what our society defines a man to be.

If we do not win, we fail. Not true. You may lose a game or battle, but that doesn't mean you fail. You learn from your mistakes a push on. If you lose every game you play, you aren't a failure. Sometimes it's not about winning, it's about enjoying yourself. If you have fun, what difference does it make if you didn't win? After a while, it may become very frustrating, and if it does, do something else!

True failure is giving up on what is important. Deciding to not want to be a part of the lives of my family for my own selfish ambitions is a failure. Deciding that what I want is more important, then I would be a failure. Taking my family with me in what I think is important and including them would not be a failure, even if I didn't make it in what I wanted to do. Our family would be stronger for it. Rough times will happen. Not having enough money, not having the best job, not having stuff is okay. I was a custodian for two years because I wanted to provide for my family. We didn't have a lot of our wants met, but we met all of our needs. We were able to save up and splurge every now and then (nice dinner out and a cheap movie). I wished I could have given more to my family, but I was never a failure. And my beautiful wife reminded me of that at times when I was down. She has been my strong foundation in times of trouble. Christ is my ultimate foundation. My wife is my strength here on earth, physically with me.

So, failing isn't what society views it as. Society decides the little things are failures, when they aren't. They are moments to learn and reflect on what went wrong. So, win, lose and enjoy the ride! :)

Hey, Daddy. Thank You for every moment that I have here on earth. Thank You for giving me my beautiful wife to help me to realize what is important in life. Thank You for all those times that we didn't have extra money. It helped us to lean on each other. It helped me to realize what an amazing woman I have in my life. Thank You for our two beautiful boys. Thank You for this time in OK City. The NICU experience will only make us stronger in the end. I love You, Daddy. Amen.

Regret

Today's thought is regret. Regret is something that plagues us all. We are constantly reminded of decisions we have made, or didn't make, and wished that we had done otherwise. I am often reminded about things that, in reality, are silly. Some are more serious things that I wish I could change, but hindsight is not wisdom.

We regret the decisions we make with our children. We regret past choices of things that seemed right at the time. We regret things we have said, or didn't say. We regret our actions when we are in a bad mood. Regret regret regret.

I say, life is not supposed to be lived in the past, plagued with regret. One thing that might actually make us feel better is to write a letter to the person(s) of which we have regrets about. More than likely, they do not remember the incident(s). Or, if they do, making things right with them may open lines to a better relationship. If the person has already passed, write them a letter about all the things you regret. It won't change the past, but it can help you cope with your decisions. There is nothing wrong with relieving some of the burden off of yourself.

I regret some of the things I have said in the past to my family members. At the times of regret, I often forget to take the time out to shoot them an email until I am reminded again. It seems to be something that often plagues me that, I feel, they may not even remember.

One thing that I have heard said, and this works for all believers in Christ, is brilliant when dealing with regret. When the moment of regret comes upon you, you take the time out to thank Christ for forgiving you for that incident. Whatever happened, He already took on the cross. Your sin has been dealt with. He took the burden so that you don't have to. Your regrets are nailed to the cross. We have no need to regret any longer. We are new people. So, when that regret sneaks up on you, shoot an email and thank Christ for taking that away from you!

Hey Daddy. Thank You for sending Christ to the cross so that my sins have already been paid for. Thank You for "hounding" me and not giving up on me when I, so often, gave up on myself. Thank You for my beautiful family and my wonderful wife. She is who I need, and You knew that. Thank You for her and for all that I have. Please help me to not live in regret any longer, but to be thankful for the price paid. I love you, Daddy. Amen.

Change

Why is it that something that people fear (for the most part) second to only death is the one thing that will inevitably always happen? Change. On some level or another, people do not like change. Even those who do have certain routines that they follow and they don't change them. My life seems to be full of change and I'm not a huge fan of change.

I remember while Beth was pregnant with our first son that everyone kept saying "your lives will change completely," and I just thought they were insane. Sure, we'll change some, but not completely. Naive (I'll have to cover that word another day). It's amazing how much one's life changes because of a child. Our whole focus (monetarily and materially) became our son. We allowed ourselves to go without buying new clothes until we really needed to (rather than frivolous spending) so that we could buy him whatever he needs/doesn't need, but could use. :)

Even routines are often changed by unforeseen events. Traffic, flat tire, alarm set wrong..etc. There are usually two main ways that we handle change - panic or acceptance. Depending on what I'm doing, I'll either try and charge up the pace or just say "Oh well." After quite a few "oh well"s, panic will inevitably set in.

Change is usually viewed in a negative light, but it's not always a bad thing. It teaches us patience and gives us an ability to adapt. If we lived life without change, it would seem that life would be perfect, but I don't think it would. Because of constant changes in my life, I have been able to see so many countries and meet so many people. Thanks to constant changes, I met my wife and we now have two beautiful boys.

Thanks to godly people in the Bible, God changes His mind and didn't destroy the world. By sending His Son to the earth, God changed the destiny of mankind. We now have Someone Who took the burden of sin from us. We can be saved through Him so that we can be with God for eternity.

When we change our minds, our hearts and our lives, we will become true people of God. We will become the hand of God to a world that is in desperate need of it. All we have to do is step away from religion and show the world Who Christ Is. The world won't come to our churches, we must go to the world. Christ spent His time with the sinners of the day, but also spent His time with God. How well do we do it? How well do I do it?

Hi Daddy. Thank You for the beautiful day that today is. Thank you for both of my beautiful boys and for my family. I know that each breath I take is a gift from You. Thank You that we have a place to stay. Thank You for every meal and moment that I have. I pray, Daddy, that You will break my heart with what breaks Yours. Please show me the world as You see it. Help me to help others. I pray for guidance, protection and love. Please help me to love others the way You do. And to see them through Your eyes. I love you, Daddy. Amen.