Failure.

Failure. Just what is it? Who exactly is the one who decides what is a failure or not? I think that too often we allow society to decide what the norms are and if we do not fit that mold, then we "fail."

There were many years that I viewed myself as being too effeminate because I was trying to fit in the mold of what a "man" was. I viewed men as being buff and with deep voices and so many other things that I was not, so therefore, I was a failure as a man. It took years for me to realize that I'm not a failure as a man because I am who God created me to be. I am a man. My features are different than every other man. We all have similarities and differences and I don't have to think of myself as a failure because I do not fit into the mold of what our society defines a man to be.

If we do not win, we fail. Not true. You may lose a game or battle, but that doesn't mean you fail. You learn from your mistakes a push on. If you lose every game you play, you aren't a failure. Sometimes it's not about winning, it's about enjoying yourself. If you have fun, what difference does it make if you didn't win? After a while, it may become very frustrating, and if it does, do something else!

True failure is giving up on what is important. Deciding to not want to be a part of the lives of my family for my own selfish ambitions is a failure. Deciding that what I want is more important, then I would be a failure. Taking my family with me in what I think is important and including them would not be a failure, even if I didn't make it in what I wanted to do. Our family would be stronger for it. Rough times will happen. Not having enough money, not having the best job, not having stuff is okay. I was a custodian for two years because I wanted to provide for my family. We didn't have a lot of our wants met, but we met all of our needs. We were able to save up and splurge every now and then (nice dinner out and a cheap movie). I wished I could have given more to my family, but I was never a failure. And my beautiful wife reminded me of that at times when I was down. She has been my strong foundation in times of trouble. Christ is my ultimate foundation. My wife is my strength here on earth, physically with me.

So, failing isn't what society views it as. Society decides the little things are failures, when they aren't. They are moments to learn and reflect on what went wrong. So, win, lose and enjoy the ride! :)

Hey, Daddy. Thank You for every moment that I have here on earth. Thank You for giving me my beautiful wife to help me to realize what is important in life. Thank You for all those times that we didn't have extra money. It helped us to lean on each other. It helped me to realize what an amazing woman I have in my life. Thank You for our two beautiful boys. Thank You for this time in OK City. The NICU experience will only make us stronger in the end. I love You, Daddy. Amen.