The Life.

I want to live to die. Not too long ago, I had a revelation in regards to life. No matter what we do, how many facelifts, botox, makeup, age-defying stuff, working out, eating right, etc., we're gonna die. Death is inevitable. What am I doing with my time on earth? If I measure my actions to eternity and what it will mean then, what really matters?

It's so easy to get caught up in the daily routines. Work, family, children, school, sports, music, acting, etc. The moment when I am confronted to sin, tempted, my action then is what matters. God gives me the power to walk away, so what do I do when I'm tempted? If I take the moment to think of eternal consequence (good or bad), I think that it would be easier to walk away. Considering that we aren't tempted with things that are of no interest to us, it's never truly easy to just walk away. Sometimes it's easy to just entertain the idea for a moment, but you need to run.

The moments in life when it's been the hardest for me is when I decide that I won't act on the temptation, I'll just think about the "what ifs" and then I won't be sinning. How long can one play with fire before getting burned. But if you grab water and douse that flame and walk away you won't get burned. The power of Christ can put out any flame the adversary brings to you.

There was a time in my life when my wife and I were having a rough time in our marriage. When I was at work, I would constantly be bombarded with things that we said in arguments and bringing up arguments that had never happened. I would often entertain these thoughts and when I saw her, I would be angry from all these events (I'd say that at least half of them were from arguments that never occurred, other than in my mind). This would cause more friction and we'd be worse off than we were before.

There came a point when I was sick of this and needed to get away from it. I would say out loud, if I was working by myself, "Lord Jesus take captive my thoughts," whenever these thoughts would bombard me. After having to do this nearly incessantly for a few days, they weakened. I didn't crumble to those thoughts like I had before. The power of Christ's name can bring the enemy to his knees.

The adversary would then bring up more temptations and whatnot, but if I continued to pray to Christ for help and pray daily, He would give the power to overcome. In His Name is power. God spoke the Universe into existence. There really is more power in the Word and in verbal language than we tend to give credit for.

Advise my dad would often give me is this: If you are doing the right thing, you will be under attack. If you aren't a challenge to the adversary, why would he waste time attacking you. Not saying that the luke-warm have perfect lives, they are merely easy targets. The real strength will be used attacking the righteous. If Christ is in our lives, we have more strength than we tend to believe. We can change the world if we truly wanted to.

I know my calling and I'm moving toward it. I'm not going to allow myself to be turned to the left or right away from what God wants me to do.

Lord Jesus, I pray that You will give me the strength to not stray from Your direction in my life. Please fill me with Your Presence and guide my thoughts and words throughout today. Thank You for Your sacrifice. Please help me to live for eternity. I pray for Your continued direction and guidance. I love You, Lord.

Being "Cool"

Ever notice how often people attempt throughout their lives to be "cool." In grade school it's...um...bringing your own lunch, or having certain friends...or perhaps wearing the best clothing. It's been a long time since I've been that young, so it's hard to remember.

In middle school, we start heading towards dating and self-discovery. So, we want to look good and we want to be popular. This really brings one into high school...in high school, these continue. To be cool, you have to have the perfect body, have money, have friends, go to the best parties, being in the right circle of friends.

In college, it's more about friends and dressing right, really. I mean, the need for the perfect body may continue or begin. This one also brings the control aspect. You control your life. For some people, the perfect grades and whatnot. If one didn't party in high school, there is a great chance they'd party in college. Some people even smoke to be cool. You go clubbing, dancing, whatever you can to be "cool."

In my life, my effort was often trying to be perfectly dressed with the perfect body and the perfect friends. Moving as much as we did, I had to look for the right people to be my friends. I would, in high school, often date my way into the right circles. In college, it was still about keeping myself in shape and being "different." This really looked like whatever I wanted it to at different times. I was at the right parties and the right events. Making appearances as often as possible, or necessary.

I continued to do my best to look great and dress right for my girlfriend and wife. Then the coolness I had continued until June 30th, 2009. Although my lack of coolness may not be declared for quite a few years, it came to my realization that I can no longer be cool once I'm a parent. My journey of coolness has ended. I now dress my kids first, worrying about my own clothing little or none. I wear stuff now that I wouldn't be caught dead in my younger years...and it doesn't bother me. It just hits me every so often that I'm not "cool" anymore. I don't strive for it, I don't try to be. I now will dress like a parent, not like a single or married man.

This isn't griping about being a parent, I love it. It's just the realization that with aging comes changes and this happens to be one of them. I'm not cool anymore, but I'm okay with that. :) I'm fine with my lack of coolness. It's just weird to think about. :)

Display of True Power

During Sunday School today, we discussed forgiveness. The Roman soldier who said, "Surely this is the Son of God," came into our discussion. One thing hit me when we were talking about it. Back in those days, Romans went to great lengths within the temples to mimic powers. They would use boulders and such to create earthquakes and thunder, they would use different smoke methods to make it appear the god was angry...all sorts of techniques were used to create the illusion of power. More than likely, the Roman soldier knew about these methods and knew that the "powers" of these gods were within their temples. He witnessed the earthquakes and powerful storms that came upon Christ's death and he knew these were not mimicked acts of nature. These earthquakes and storms were the real thing. They were not limited to the confines of a temple, they were out in the open with the world as a witness to them.

It's kind of cool to think about. It never crossed my mind that God, once again, decided to show His supreme power over those of the time (reminds me of Pharaoh and the plagues). :)

Coffee Ain't Strong Enough...

Sometimes it seems that the older I get, the more I need sleep (and coincidentally, the less I get). Along with that, caffeine (my name is Josiah and I'm addicted to caffeine) just doesn't seem to work like it did in the past. I can have coffee first thing in the morning, then an energy drink and be dragging after lunch (barely make it through class). What is this nonsense? I remember when I was working on my first bachelor's degree, I would have 2+ energy drinks a day, not to mention caffeine at meals, too.

I have to say that being a parent is a wonderful endeavor. The issue in dealing with parenting and this topic is that children are draining!! No matter how many times I toss my son in the air, or let him tackle me or chase him around, he doesn't get tired. My energy is pretty much gone after about ten minutes and all that's happened to him is that he's fired up for ten more!!! I know that I'm aging, but I'm not that old, darnit! I'm only 27! Having kids is tough! Not just all the new experiences, but the fact that they seem to have an endless supply of energy...where does it come from?! I wanna know so I can tap into some for myself!

Regardless of the falling affect of coffee on me, I will not give it up anytime soon. It's just too darn good for that! Maybe I'll get sick soon, so I can't have anything but water to drink and then when I return to coffee, it'll wire me for hours, who knows? And...speaking of getting wired, that five hour energy stuff doesn't work for me. I figured I'd try it out...yeah, didn't do a thing. I had to drink an energy drink just to last through the morning because it was as if I hadn't had anything.

So...here I am, an old man...with one child with an unrelenting amount of energy...and soon both of them will have this energy. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I'll be even older then, and, well, maybe they'll create a way to have caffeine shot directly into the bloodstream or something by then so I'll be able to manage...or find something that works even better, who knows? :) Gotta go, the young one is hungry...

Parenting

I must say, the flaws of the human never seem to reach fruition within ones self until one is a parent. I won't deny that I have had many problems and have done my share of sins and stupid stuff (would've said "things" but I have no intention of rhyming on here). :) But, how it affects someone is different. Here I have two beautiful sons and I fear every error I make. I may not make the same choices in a lot of areas that my parents did (for my own reasons); I make plenty of choices of my own that make me upset.

It's hard to describe, but it seems that I always viewed my parents as super-human. I know that they made mistakes, but they were always more than human, for some odd reason. It's like they were on a pedestal. This is something that I still struggle with today, but I'm much better. It's not like they did everything right and we never had problems, it was just that they...I don't know how to explain it.

Anyway, as a parent myself, I don't view myself like that, at all. I see all the mistakes I'm making and it tears me apart sometimes. Recently, while trying to grab one kid who wouldn't listen to me, I bumped the youngest one's head (of whom I was holding). It startled him and he started to cry. That was a tough night. I dragged the one who was in trouble out of the room and rocked the other one back to sleep. Then, when my wife was back in the living room, I had to leave. I was so upset with myself for the whole situation. I had never been careless enough to bump the head of either of the children on anything. And the other one got in trouble and he may or may not have realized that he was doing wrong...though he probably did.

It's so much easier to beat yourself up for mistakes when you are a parent and these mistakes are made to/around your children. I know mine are probably too young to remember this when they get older, but that doesn't lift the burden. Sometimes, I wish that there was a way to do everything right, but I know there isn't. I now understand what my mom and dad say when they talk about their mistakes. But what every parent should know is that most children don't remember those...I remember the good times with my family and some of the difficult, but not in the way they do. I know that when we have struggles and arguments, it'll be harder on me than the boys. It's hard now...

My only hope from all this is that when I look back when the boys are all grown up and moved out, I will be able to see all the positives and less negatives... :)

"Terrible Twos"

Just out of curiosity, why are the twos so "terrible"? I mean, I fully understand that having my son throwing himself on the floor and screaming for no apparent reason is rather frustrating, but I often see a similar attitude in people of all ages.

How often is it that if you go out somewhere to eat, you hear someone griping and complaining about someone or something? How often do people you know complain? There are those who seem to never fully exit the stage of "terrible two". Some people seem to find everything negative and are so often throwing vocal tantrums that it's just too much.

Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with venting. And sometimes we all need to vent to release steam. Some more than others. The thing I'm talking about are people who need to gripe and complain about practically everything that doesn't go their way. They want certain things and do not get them. I remember someone who wanted a certain Wii game (he was in college) and his sister didn't quite have the money for it (she already had other gifts for him) and he whined about it because he really wanted that game (went on about it for a good five minutes). Here we have a twenty year old whining because his sister couldn't afford a Wii game?

I, too often, see vocal tantrums thrown about useless and pointless things. So, I think the only thing terrible about these "terrible twos" is the fact that we have no idea what is upsetting him. Since he is unable to talk, he shows his distain the only way he knows how. So, I don't really consider it all that terrible, just frustrating. I look forward to him talking and understanding more so that we can avoid all these tantrums and stop them when they start.